30 Is Not The New 20
I posted this TEDTalk a few weeks ago because it is one of my favorites. NOT because I want to scare the shit out of my 20-something peers and make them feel behind, but because clinical psychologist Meg Jay has incredible insight that I think everyone should be exposed to.
It is thought provoking and there is kinda nothing I love more than having my thoughts provoked, folks.
Spoiler Alert. Meg closes her talk with this gem:
"So claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do. You're deciding your life right now."
I mean it when I say, I love this quote. It neatly sums up many of the things I believe in, and desperately want for everyone. If you are not a fan of the way Meg comes at this, here’s how I define it:
Claim Your Adulthood – Take responsibility. This is your life. If it is not up to society, or your parents, your best friends, or your significant other to tell you what your life is going to look like. YOU get to decide that, because YOU are an adult. And if you don’t feel like you get to decide that’s what the phrase “claim your adulthood” is all about. GO GET IT. It’s yours for the taking.
Get Some Identity Capital – This goes back to my post about Knowing Who You Are, if you are still floundering about, wondering who you are, this is the time in your life to find out! Take small steps toward establishing yourself. Defining yourself and who you want to be will give you a clear picture of the life you are trying to create - thus making it easier to actually create. I have always adored this quote by Gandhi: 'Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.' Get to that place!
Use Your Weak Ties – Look around, y’all. The world is your oyster if you make it so. Does your mom’s employee’s best friend run a yoga studio and you secretly dream of being a yoga instructor? Hello, weak tie! The hardest part about this one is putting yourself (and your dreams) out there – you are going to have to communicate your wants. As the slightly famous, self made, sort-of successful, Oprah Winfrey said, “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.” Be courageous here.
Pick Your Family – This one goes back to You Are Who You Surround Yourself With. Stop surrounding yourself with people who make you feel bad. That’s it. Choose the right company, choose the supporters, the ones that will help you rise to the top – not bring you down. I always defer to this quote by Hans F. Hansen, "People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely.”
Don’t Be Defined By What You Didn't Know Or Didn't Do – I am preaching this one hard. I believe in creating your own definition of success. I believe that everything you need to be successful is already inside of you. I believe you have the power to create the life you desire. I believe it is never too late to begin again. If you’re reading this at 20, 30, 40, or 50 and it is speaking to you – do something about it. Just because you are out of your 20’s does not does not does not mean your life cannot change. It does not mean it is too late to find out who you are. If you don’t believe it’s possible, try me. I will help you through. A series of Emily+You dates over coffee or wine and we’ll have you rockin and rollin in no time. Or we can do things virtually. You know where to find me.
You are deciding your life right now.