Knowing oneself is paramount to a happy, fulfilling life.
A strong sense of self makes you impervious to negative opinions and fearless in your endeavors. Knowing who you are erases the fear of failure. It aids you when life is tough, it becomes your saving grace. How? At the end of the day - no matter what kind of day it was - you still have yourself. You have you. Always. So your best bet at a blissful life is learning how to lean on yourself, how to push yourself to grow, how to make yourself happy. Your entire life is up to you.
First you need to establish your go-to's.
What music, books, and activities make you happy when you're sad? What music, books, and activities give you inspiration when you feel burnt out? What music, books, and activities make you calm when you're angry? What music, books, and activities give you peace when you're stressed? (If you're coming up blank think back on times when you were happy, inspired, calm, peaceful. Write down the circumstances and the elements of that time.)
Do this for all areas of your life: career, finances, relationships, friendships, school - whatever buckets you spend your time in. Ask yourself: when do I thrive? When do I laugh? When do I feel confident, capable?
This exercise is an investment in you. When you are able to see what makes you calm on paper, you can put it into action and become calm. This works for each circumstance. Eventually these responses will be innate - it is part of knowing yourself. Your life will become easier to navigate.
I love lists so I hand write these things and then update and revise them as needed because although I know myself - I am always growing and changing. The first time I did this was years ago and in almost every column one of the things that always made me feel better was helping others. It was a consistent response in what made me happier and less stressed, but it wasn't something I regularly practiced at the time. Noticing this theme actually lead me to a complete shift in careers - a move I haven't regretted a single day.
When you feel lost or you are going through a break-up or you are unsure of what the future could or should bring: refer to your list. These things - though simple - hold your answers.
I fondly refer to my list as "The Good Stuff" and the task I give to you during times of struggle is simple: do more of the good stuff.
If you already know yourself, but something still isn't working and you feel stuck try this: write down two columns side by side. "What I am" and "What I aspire to be." Fill these out respectively. For example, perhaps I am: compassionate, intelligent, healthy, sensible, caring, energetic. Perhaps I aspire to be: fit, efficient, entrepreneur, bilingual.
Often times feeling unsettled is due to wanting to reach for that second column, but staying put. How can you move toward what you aspire to be? What action steps can you take? Write these down. Because if I know one thing, I know this: it's up to you.