For just under two years I have worked at the Women's and Children's Alliance. Exploring my passions and putting my talents toward a cause I care deeply about. Leaving the WCA, put simply, is not an option. It is my purpose. I have too much work to do here, too many goals for this organization. I refuse to leave.
As fate would have it, an incredibly inspirational woman waltzed into the lives of the WCA in May of 2015. She became part of our giving society - helping us achieve sustainable funding so we may always provide our services at no cost to all clients. Being able to offer services for free is an important piece of many non-profit organizations. For us specifically, it can be the difference between life and death.
You see, in abusive relationships (especially marriages where finances are oft combined), financial control is one of the most common ways the abuser exerts control over their significant other. When the abuser has control over their s/o financially, the s/o does not have the means to leave. Often times this is sold to the victim in appealing ways. "Stay home, let me take care of you" or "Leave that job, I don't like your boss." - it's confusing - isn't it? Because this sounds like people who care. But it is combined with other signs of abuse, like isolation, criticism, humiliation, dismissing your accomplishments, putting down your opinions, threats and of course the most obvious: physical harm. Many times, once someone realizes they are being abused and need to leave a relationship for the safety of their life and possibly that of their children - financial control has already been implemented. This leaves the person being abused in between a rock and a hard place. If they leave - they could lose their home, their car, their lifestyle. If they leave - they could have to tell someone they have no access to their own checking or savings account (adding another layer of shame to the immense shame many of them feel from being abused by someone they loved.) If they leave - they could be choosing to put themselves and their children out on the streets (Domestic Violence is the leading cause of homelessness in women and children.) If they leave - how will they pay for a divorce, custody battles, how will they manage safety?
If you are not familiar with the Women's and Children's Alliance - we do all of that. At no cost. We offer safety, healing, and freedom to victims of Domestic Abuse and Sexual Assault. This includes court advocacy, safety planning, counseling, shelter, childcare, job training, financial literacy program. The whole shebang. So you see, I can't leave. This organization changes lives, it saves lives. It is an organization I believe in.
It also pays just enough for me to pay the bills. Not enough to pay off student loans, not enough to donate to the causes I care about, not enough to put money into savings, not enough to invest, not enough to entertain the idea of a new car or travel. Not even enough to go through a month without feeling severe financial stress. It has been a struggle. The financially conscious woman in me strongly dislikes my inability to save money, plan for my future, and pay off my student loans.
Which brings us back to the incredibly inspirational woman that waltzed into the WCA who I mentioned at the beginning of this novella. Her name is Heather and she not only became an integral part of our organization, she also presented me with an opportunity. You guessed it, Rodan+Fields. A life changing opportunity. I like to keep this whole life changing theme, you know? I really can't get enough of it. With Heather's encouragement I had a revelation that I can only hope to pass on to others:
You can do what you love. You can follow your passion. And you don't have to sacrifice everything for it. So for my non-profit colleagues, my social workers, my writers, my artists: DO NOT give up your passion. But don't give up your life vision either.
If you are interested in diversifying your income stream, holla at ya girl. Because I wouldn't dare lie to you about this: you CAN have it all.