Self-Improvement is not the New Year's resolution you need. You haven't been living life wrong. You are not broken or in need of being fixed. You are a human. Mess, pain, discomfort, flaws, disappointment are all inescapable components of that thing called being a human on earth. And with each new year comes a new share of these components.
This is not a depressing thought, but rather a freeing one. Allow this truth to free you of the expectation that if you could just "get it together" bad things would cease to happen. You'd stop making mistakes. You'd stop disappointing yourself or others. That's an illusion. You are expecting the impossible, the unattainable. No one has it. Despite our best efforts to have it all together not a single one of us is impervious to life's pain and disappointments.
And here's the silver lining: the more flaws, mess, pain, discomfort, and disappointment we experience, the more opportunity we have for growth - and the opportunity to grow is a blessing.
But just like a plant, you can't grow if you don't water yourself. I mean, yes, literally drink more water, it's very healthy, but I also mean it figuratively. Instead of striving for perfection and self-improvement: water yourself. Pour. Dat. Shit. In. All the love you have to give. All the love you willingly, unashamedly give others - give it to yourself too. You have always had the capacity and now you have explicit permission.
Loving someone else means you respect them, you believe in them, you trust, adore, nurture, encourage, and support them. You show them grace and understanding. Please love yourself in this way.
When we love ourselves unconditionally our life follows suit. We work hard at work not because we feel forced, but because we appreciate our own capacity to produce good work. We work through those difficult times with resiliency and patience because we would show our friends the same grace. We take care of our bodies not because we hate them but because we love them.
Self-love is the most radical, life-changing act you could possibly do and the results expand far beyond your own benefit. The act of loving ourselves naturally makes us better employees, friends, spouses, family members, neighbors, and citizens in a sustainable, effortless way. So this year, love first. The improvement will follow.
Wishing you a year of exponential, healthy, lasting growth because “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha.